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TOP 100 funny one-liners!

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Home of the TOP 100 funny one-liners, sayings, quotes, jokes and proverbs! Are you a fan of famous quotes, funny one-liners, cute sayings, english proverbs or just plain silly short jokes? Are you looking for the funniest one-liner ever? Then this is the place for you!

You can view random funny one-liners by using our one-liner randomizer. It serves you with a random selection of funny one-liners. Or you can give the Quote Videos page a try, there you can find a collection of videoclips containing funny one-liners, famous quotes, english proverbs, silly bumper stickers, the best T-shirt one-liners and much more.

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TOP 100 funny one-liners

 
1
I asked God for a bike, but I know God doesn't work that way. So I stole a bike and asked for forgiveness.
2
I want to die peacefully in my sleep, like my grandfather.. Not screaming and yelling like the passengers in his car.
3
Do not argue with an idiot. He will drag you down to his level and beat you with experience.

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Vote to help us find the funniest one-liners

To compile the TOP 100 funny one-liners we need your help. We have added a voting-system throughout the site which allows simple thumbs-up-thumbs-down voting of the quotes. By voting you help us find the best jokes, quotes and one-liners.

You might wonder "How can I vote for a quote?" Well, it is pretty simple!
Next to every one-liner you can find a vote-box. The vote-box contains a few numbers, a thumbs-up button and a thumbs-down button.

The biggest number to the left represents the absolute number of positive votes a one-liner got. The little numbers to the right of the thumbs represent the number of positive/negative votes a one-liner got. The thumb-up and thumbs-down icons are vote buttons.

By clicking on the thumbs-up button you can indicate that you find a particular quote funny, good or that you just like the one-liner. By clicking on the thumbs-down button you can indicate that you dislike the one-liner.

You can easily recognize one-liners which already received a vote from you by the color of the vote buttons. If the thumb remains green, you voted up. If the thumb remains red, you voted down.

The difference between the up- and down-votes will be shown in the big box on the left of the vote-box. This number is a good indication of how good or bad a one-liner is and will be used to create a competitive ranking between the one-liners, quotes, jokes and proverbs in our database. Now it is only up to you to make the difference between the bad ones and the good ones!

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