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Alphabet - Browse funny one-liners - b

 
Babies are born with over 600 bones, but by adulthood they have fused into 2 large bones, Left and Right.
 
Babies don't need a vacation but I still see them at the beach. I'll go over to them and say, 'What are you doing here, you've never worked a day in your life!'.
 
Baby-sitter: a teenager acting like an adult, while the adults are out acting like teenagers.
 
Bachelor: the only man who has never told his wife a lie.
 
Bachelors know more about women than married men, that's why they not married.
 
Back up my hard drive? How do I put it in reverse?
 
Bacon is a thing to fear, when it's made of mud.
 
Bad breath is better than no breath at all.
 
Bad command or file name. Bad, bad command! Sit! Stay! Staaaay...
 
Bad Command or File Name. Good try, though.
 
Bad command or filename. Go stand in the corner.
 
Bad planning on your part does not necessarily constitute an automatic emergency on my part.
 
Bad spellers of the world, untie!
 
Baker's First Law of Federal Geometry: A block grant is a solid mass of money surrounded on all sides by governors.
 
Bald guys never have a bad hair day.
 
Bank failures are caused by depositors who don't deposit enough money to cover losses due to mismanagement.
 
Banks keep going out of their way to give me credit. ...And for that, I am deeply indebted.
 
Bare feet magnetize sharp metal objects so they always point upward from the floor.
 
Base 8 is just like base 10, if you are missing 2 fingers.
 
Baseball is the only major sport that appears backward in a mirror.