Now 7397 one-liners online!

Alphabet - Browse funny one-liners - d

Drive defensively - buy a tank.
Drive not responding. [A]bort, [R]etry or [I]mpale?
Drive-In banks were established so most of the cars today could see their real owners.
Driver carries no cash. He's married.
Droughts are because god didn't pay his water bill.
Drugs cause amnesia and other things I can't remember.
Drugs may lead to nowhere, but at least it's the scenic route.
Drugs: accomplish your dreams.
Drunk is feeling sophisticated when you can't say it.
Duct tape is like 'The Force'. It has a light side and a dark side, and it holds the universe together.
Due to intense mind fog, all my thoughts have been grounded.
During sex, my girlfriend always wants to talk to me. Just the other night she called me from a hotel.
Dyslexia means never having to say that you're yrros.
Dyslexics are teople poo.
Dyslexics have more fnu.
Dyslexics have more nuf
Dyslexics of the world, untie!