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Alphabet - Browse funny one-liners - d

Deciding not to choose is still making a choice.
Deep down I'm actually glad that my neighbour cares enough to sue me.
Deep Throat: Think about it. There is actually a semi-important figure in American history who is named for a blow-job movie. How do school teachers handle this?
Defeat is worse than death because you have to live with defeat.
Defeat isn't bitter if you don't swallow it.
Defeat isn't bitter if you sprinkle dirty revenge on it.
Definition of a Dance: A navel engagement without the loss of semen.
Definition of a teenager? God's punishment for enjoying sex.
Definition of a Transvestite: A guy who likes to eat, drink and be Mary!
Definition of Innocence: Nun working in condom factory thinking she's making sleeping bags for mice.
Deja Fu: the feeling that somehow, somewhere, you've been kicked in the head like this before.
Deja moo: The feeling that you've heard this bull before.
Deja Vu - When you think you're doing something you've done before, it's because God thought it was so funny, he had to rewind it for his friends.
Democracy is the worst form of government except all those other forms that have been tried.
Democracy is three wolves and one sheep voting on what to have for supper.
Democracy means that anyone can grow up to be President and anyone who doesn't grow up can be Vice President.
Democracy: The theory that the common people know what they want, and deserve to get it good and hard.
Denial is not a river in Egypt.
Department of Redundancy Department
Depression is merely anger without enthusiasm.