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Alphabet - Browse funny one-liners - d

 
Despite the cost of living, have you noticed how popular it remains?
 
Despite the proportional number of eyes and ears to mouths, people will talk twice as much as they pay attention.
 
Despite the saying, "Don't take your troubles to bed", many men still sleep with their wives!
 
Despite their other contributions to our society, lawyers can still be a great source of protein.
 
Despite what mathematicians tell us, there are no numbers larger than 1239823649283629392873928462398. After that, you get a few stray 2's, a 3, a 5, and then nothing.
 
Despite what you may think, nobody wins in a butter eating contest.
 
Detroit: where the weak are killed and eaten.
 
Diarrhea is hereditary... it runs in your jeans
 
Did any of you married people out there ever wonder whether it's better to have loved and lost, than to have loved and won?
 
Did anyone see my lost carrier?
 
Did Joseph get upset when the Boy Jesus gave away his coin collection?
 
Did ya hear about the blonde that threw away her weight loss video? She noticed that the people on the video weren't losing weight either.
 
Did you ask me to "hold on"? Ok, but my Mom says it's a dirty habit!
 
Did you ever notice that there are more horses' asses in the world than there are horses.
 
Did you ever notice: The Roman Numerals for forty are "XL".
 
Did you ever walk into a room and forget why you walked in? I think that is how dogs spend their lives.
 
Did you expect mere proof to sway my opinion?
 
Did you have an extra bowl of stupid this morning?
 
Did You hear about Micheal Jackson's new TV show ? It's called "Touched By An Uncle"
 
Did you hear about the blonde that thought an "innuendo" is an Italian suppository ?