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Alphabet - Browse funny one-liners - d

Dieting is wishful shrinking.
Digital Wisdom: Affirm brain on-line before opening
Dijon vu: the feeling you've had this mustard before.
Diplomacy - the art of letting someone have your own way.
Diplomacy is letting someone else have your way.
Diplomacy is the art of saying "nice doggy" until you can find a rock.
Directory assistance has still not been able to tell me where all my single socks are.
Disappointments should be cremated, not embalmed.
Disco is to music what Etch-a-Sketch is to art.
Discretion is being able to raise your eyebrow instead of your voice.
Divorce - from the Latin word meaning to rip out a man's genitals through his wallet.
Divorce is like Espresso, expensive and bitter.
DNA: National Dyslexic Association
Do blind Eskimos have seeing-eye sled dogs?
Do cemetery workers prefer the graveyard shift?
Do chickens think rubber humans are funny?
Do communion wafers taste better in Corpus Christi, Texas, or in Sacramento, California?
Do deaf gynecologists read lips?
Do files get embarrassed when they're unzipped?
Do fish get thirsty?