Now 7397 one-liners online!

Alphabet - Browse funny one-liners - f

 
Farting loudly in a moving elevator is foul on so many levels.
 
Fat people are harder to kidnap.
 
Father talking to his son: "Son, you should never lie. One lie begets another lie, then another lie, and before you know it, you're a lawyer."
 
Fault finding is like window washing. All the dirt seems to be on the other side.
 
Fax is stranger than fiction.
 
Fear all mighty powers of Flab Foo...For my name is...Quait Fautt!
 
Fear is just excitement in need of an attitude adjustment
 
Fear not that your life will end soon. Oops, wait.. you didn't hear that from me.
 
Federal Expresso: When you absolutely, positively have to stay up all night.
 
Females do pursue me, if you count mosquitos.
 
Feminists are OK, I just wouldn't want my sister to marry one.
 
Few things are harder to put up with than a good example.
 
Few things are more satisfying than seeing your children cope with teenagers of their own!
 
Few women admit their age, few men act it.
 
Fiction is our own reality.
 
Fifty-six percent of all women carry condoms. The other 44% carry babies.
 
Fight crime: Shoot back!
 
Fighting for peace is like fucking for virginity.
 
Fill what's empty, empty what's full, scratch where it itches.
 
Filthy Stinking Rich... Well, Two Out of Three Ain't Bad