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Alphabet - Browse funny one-liners - f

For Sale: Complete set of Encyclopedia Britainica. Never read because wife already knows everything
For Sale: Iraqi rifle. Never fired. Dropped once.
For Sale: Nordic Track, hardly used, call 555-1234, ask for Chubby.
For Sale: Parachute. Only used once, never opened, small stain.
For Sale: Wedding dress, size 8. Worn once by mistake.
For some reason, we see divorce as a signal of failure, despite the fact that each of us has a right, and an obligation, to rectify any other mistake we make in life.
Forbidden fruit creates many jams.
Forbidden fruit has caused many a bad jam.
Forecast for tonight: Dark.
Foreign Aid: The transfer of money from poor people in rich countries to rich people in poor countries.
Forest fires only lead to Smokey Bear - prevent them!
Forget the health food. I need all the preservatives I can get.
Forget world peace. Visualize using your turn signal.
Forgive and forget. This is not difficult when properly understood. It means forget inconvenient duties, then forgive yourself for forgetting. By rigid practice and stern determination, it comes easy.
Forgiveness does not change the past, but it does enlarge the future.
Forgiveness is like the fragrance a flower gives after it's been stepped on.
Four out of five people think the fifth is an idiot.
Four years ago... no, it was yesterday.
Four years ago... no, it was yesterday. Today I... No, that wasn't me. Sometimes I... No, I don't.
Four-wheel-drive just means getting stuck in more inaccessible places.