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Alphabet - Browse funny one-liners - f

Four-word story of failure: Hired, tired, mired, fired.
Frankly, Scallop, I don't give a clam.
Free speech carries with it some freedom to listen.
Free your mind and your ass will follow.
Freedom is not the right to do as you please, but the liberty to do as you ought.
Freedom of speech is wonderful - right up there with the freedom not to listen.
Friction can be a drag sometimes.
Friction is a drag.
Friday, I was in a bookstore and I started talking to a French looking girl. She was a bilingual illiterate -- she couldn't read in two different languages.
Friend: Someone who has the same enemies you have.
Friendly fire - isn't.
Friends are chocolate chips in the cookie of life!
Friends are like condoms: They protect you when things get hard.
Friends are like stars. You may not always see them but you know they are always there
Friends help you move. Real friends help you move bodies.
Friends may come and go, but enemies accumulate.
Friendship is like money, easier made than kept.
Frisbeetarianism is the belief that when you die, your soul goes up on the roof and gets stuck.
From the moment I picked your book up to the moment I set it down, I was convulsed with laughter. Some day I intend to read it.
Fun is a good thing, but only when it spoils nothing better.