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Alphabet - Browse funny one-liners - g

Gambling: The sure way of getting nothing for something.
Gargling is a good way to see if your throat leaks.
Gee, Toto, I don't think we're in kansas anymore.
General Failure's Fault. Not Yours.
Generally speaking, you aren't learning much when your lips are moving.
Genius does what it must, talent does what it can, and you had best do what you're told.
Genius may have its limitations, but stupidity is not thus handicapped.
George is a radio announcer, and when he walks under a bridge... you can't hear him talk.
George washington said "We would have a black president when pigs fly!"... well, swine flu.
George Washington's brother was the uncle of our country.
George Washington's brother, Lawrence, was the Uncle of Our Country.
Get a new car for your spouse - it'll be a great trade!
Get your mind out of the gutter! Grab mine while you're there, please.
Gettin' married is like getting into a bath tub. After you get used to it, it ain't so hot.
Getting caught is the mother of invention.
Getting hit in the head with that hammer didn't work as well as I had planned...
Getting married for sex is like buying a 747 for the free peanuts.
Getting married is very much like going to a restaurant with friends. You order what you want, then when you see what the other fellow has, you wish you had ordered that.
Getting older, everything gets worse; except forgetfulness...
That gets better.
Getting on your feet means getting off your butt.