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Alphabet - Browse funny one-liners - g

Getting screwed while everybody else is getting laid.
Getting to work on time only makes the day longer.
Ginger Rogers did everything Fred Astaire did, but she did it backwards in high heels
Girlfriends are like credit cards, you can't get one unless you already have one.
Girls are like roads, more the curves, more the dangerous they are.
Girls are like square numbers, if they're under 13 just do them in your head.
Give a jackass an education and you get a smartass.
Give a man a fish and he has food for a day. Teach him how to fish and you can get rid of him for the entire weekend.
Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach him how to fish, and he will sit in a boat and drink beer all day.
Give a man a fish, and he'll eat for a day. Give a fish a man, and it'll eat for weeks!
Give a man a fish, and you'll feed him for a day. Give him a religion, and he'll starve to death while praying for a fish.
Give a man a fish, and you'll feed him for a day. Teach a man to fish, and he'll buy a funny hat.
Give a man a free hand and he'll run it all over you.
Give a person a fish and you feed him for a day, teach a person to use the Internet and they won't bother you for weeks.
Give a woman an inch and she thinks she's a ruler.
Give me ambiguity or give me something else
Give me immortality or give me death.
Give me liberty, or give me a bran muffin!
Give some people an inch, and they think they are rulers.
Give the anarchists an inch, and the next thing you know, they want to be in charge!