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Alphabet - Browse funny one-liners - g

Goodbye, and thanks for the radio, said Tom with a short wave.
Gossip is when you hear something you like about someone you don't.
Grace is the divine ability to cope with every circumstance.
Grandchildren are God's reward for not killing your kids.
Grandparents: the people who think your children are wonderful even though they're sure you're not raising them right.
Granola. Granola solves everything.
Granted, you can never learn the position and momentum of an electron simultaneously. However, conceivably you can learn one of these things, which is more than we'll ever know about women.
Gravity always gets me down.
Gravity isn't easy, but it's the law.
Gravity never loses. The best you can hope for is a draw.
Gravity- It's not just a good idea, it's the LAW!
Great fear come from martial art of Ignoriticness...For I am...Lao Zi!
Great minds discuss ideas. Average minds discuss events. Small minds discuss people.
Grow your own dope, plant a man.
Growing old is mandatory; growing up is optional.
Guests are like fish, they both start to stink after a day or two.
Guests who kill talk show hosts--On the last Geraldo.
Guilt is simply God's way of letting you know that you're having too good a time.
Guitar, for sale, cheap, no strings attached.
Gulf War Lite: High in accomplishments, with 2/3 fewer casualties than your regular war!