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Karaoke bars combine two of the nation's greatest evils: People who shouldn't drink and people who shouldn't sing.
 
Karaoke is Japanese for "tone deaf".
 
Karate is a form of martial arts in which people who have trained for years and years can, using only their hands and feet, make some of the worst movies in the history of the world.
 
Karl Marx's Mother: If Karl, instead of writing a lot about capital, had made a lot of it ... it would have been much better.
 
Keep America beautiful ... properly dispose of your lawyer.
 
Keep coming back, it works if you work it.
 
Keep looking around; there's always something you've missed.
 
Keep talking; someday you'll say something intelligent.
 
Keep the dream alive: Hit the snooze button.
 
Keep your eyes wide open before marriage, half shut afterwards.
 
Keep your hands in your pants and give the newcomer a chance.
 
Keep your head and your heart in the right direction and you will not have to worry about your feet.
 
Keep your head in the clouds.. you're the first to know when it rains, and it's easier to see the silver lining.
 
Keep your nose to the grindstone and your shoulder to the wheel... it's cheaper than plastic surgery.
 
Kentucky: Five million people, fifteen last names.
 
Kids are wonderful, but I like mine barbecued.
 
Kids in the backseat cause accidents. Accidents in the backseat cause kids.
 
Killing time murders opportunities.
 
Kinky sex involves the use of duck feathers. Perverted sex involves the whole duck.
 
Kiss: A lovely trick designed by nature to stop speech when words become superfluous.