NASA has just completed work on a new rocket, nicknamed "Civil Servant." It won't work and they can't fire it. |
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National Atheist's Day April 1st |
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National Schizophrenic's Convention: Anybody who's everybody will be there! |
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National Spellling Bee Runer-Up
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Natives who beat drums to drive off evil spirits are objects of scorn to smart Americans who blow horns to break up traffic jams. |
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Nature invented sex as a reward for letting go of childhood. |
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Nearby is a forest. Not just any forest, but a forest where they get paneling. It was a long thin forest. |
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Nebraska: At least the cows are sane.
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Necrophelia means never having to say... well, anything!
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Necrophillia: That Uncontrollable Urge To Crack Open A Cold One. |
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Needing someone is like needing a parachute. If he isn't there the first time you need him, chances are you won't be needing him again. |
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Neurotics build castles in the air. Psychotics live in them, and Psychiatrists charge them rent. |
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Never agree to plastic surgery if the doctor's office is full of portraits by Picasso. |
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Never answer an anonymous letter |
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Never argue with your wife. Just dicker. |
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Never ask a barber if he thinks you need a haircut. |
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Never assume malice for what stupidity can explain. |
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Never attribute to malice that which can be adequately explained by stupidity. |
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Never be afraid to try something new. Remember, amateurs built the ark. Professionals built the Titanic. |
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Never be unfaithful to a lover, except with your wife. |