Alphabet - Browse funny one-liners - n

	Never believe generalizations.
	Never buy a car you can't push.
	Never buy a Rolex from someone who is out of breath.
	Never call a man a fool. Borrow from him.
	Never catch snowflakes with your tongue until ALL the birds have gone South for the Winter.
	Never decide to buy something while listening to the salesman.
	Never deprive someone of hope; it may be all they have.
	Never do card tricks for the group you play poker with.
	Never do card tricks for your poker buddies.
	Never do today that which will become someone else's responsibility tomorrow.
	Never drive faster than your Guardian Angel can fly.
	Never eat yellow snow.
	Never entrust your life to a surgeon with more than three Band-Aids on his fingers.
	Never express yourself more clearly than you are able to think.
	Never follow good whiskey with water, unless you're out of good whiskey.
	Never get into an argument with a schizophrenic person and say, "Just who do you think you are?"
	Never get into fights with ugly people, they have nothing to lose.
	Never give yourself a haircut after three margaritas.
	Never go to bed angry, stay awake and plot your revenge.
	Never hit a man with glasses. Hit him with a baseball bat.

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