Now 7397 one-liners online!

Alphabet - Browse funny one-liners - o

Obscenity: the crutch of inarticulate motherf#$@ers.
Obstacles are those frightful things you see when you take your eyes off your goal.
Of all the people I know, you're one of them.
Of all the people in the world, you're one of em'.
Of all the things I've lost, I miss my mind the most.
Of course I don't look busy. I did it right the first time.
Of course I have friends! I have Jerry, he's the one standing behind you with the machette.
Of course I know how to copy a computer disk. Where is the Xerox machine?
Of course I want to live forever. But only for a little while.
Of course I'm out of my mind! It's dark and scary there!
Of course there's no reason for it, it's just our policy.
Of the choice of two evils, I pick the one I've never tried before.
Officer, I know I was going faster than 55MPH, but I wasn't going to be on the road an hour.
Often, when I am reading a good book, I stop and thank my teacher. That is, I used to, until she got an unlisted number.
Oh crap!! That actually worked!
Oh Lord, give me patience, and GIVE IT TO ME NOW!
Oh yea? If you're so smart, why don't I understand you?
Oh yeah? You wanna step out of the giant robot and say that again?
Oh, I'm sorry, were the voices in my head bothering you?
Ok. I'm gonna need a hammer, a chisel... maybe a couple of rocket launchers. But this pickle jar WILL come open!