Alphabet - Browse funny one-liners - o

On your mark, get set, go away!

Once over the hill, you pick up speed.

Once when I was lost, I saw a policeman, and asked him to help me find my parents. I said to him, "Do you think we'll ever find them? He said, "I don't know kid. There are so many places they can hide."

One advantage of talking to yourself is that you know at least somebody's listening.

One day as I came home early from work, I saw a guy jogging naked. I said to the guy, "Hey buddy, why are you doing that?" He said, "Because you came home early."

One day, when I came home from work, I accidentally put my car key in the door of my apartment building. I turned it, and the whole building started up. So I drove it around. A policeman stopped me for going too fast. He said, "Where do you live?" I said, "Right here!" Then I drove my building onto the middle of a highway, and I ran outside, and told all of the cars to get the hell out of my driveway.

One doesn't have to live in constant fear, unless of course one suffers from paranoia.

One good thing about being wrong is the joy it brings to others.

One is too many, a thousand never enough.

One night a jet flew too close to my house. I was walking from the living room to the kitchen, and the stewardess told me to sit down.