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	One time the power went out in my house and I had to use the flash on my camera to see my way around. I made a sandwich and took fifty pictures of my face. The neighbors thought there was lightning in my house.
	One way to stop a runaway horse is to bet on him.
	One woman's hobby may be another woman's hubby.
	Only dead fish go with the flow.
	Only in America are there handicap-parking places in front of a skating rink.
	Only in America... do banks leave both doors open and then chain the pens to the counters.
	Only in America... do we leave cars worth thousands of dollars in the driveway and put our useless junk in the garage.
	Only in America... do we use answering machines to screen calls and then have call waiting so we won't miss a call from someone we didn't want to talk to in the first place.
	Only in America... do we use the word 'politics' to describe the process so well: 'Poli' in Latin meaning 'many' and 'tics' meaning 'bloodsucking creatures'.
	Only the insane have strength enough to prosper; only those that prosper may judge what is truly sane.
	Only the paranoid survive.
	Only the winners decide what were war crimes.
	Oops. My brain just hit a bad sector.
	Opinions are indeed like assholes, some are just bigger than others.
	Opportunities always look bigger going than coming.
	Opportunity always knocks at the least opportune moment.
	Opportunity may knock once, but temptation bangs on your front door forever.
	Opportunity may only knock once, but temptation raps for years.
	Optimism: Waiting for a ship to come in when you haven't sent one out.
	Optimist: A person who travels on nothing, from nowhere, to happiness.

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Alphabet - Browse funny one-liners - o

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