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Pain is inevitable, but suffering is optional.
Palidan: Your pal Dan... until he kills you for thinking you're a heretic.
Palindromes date all the way back to Eve.
Pandemonium doesn't reign here ... It pours!
Panties not best thing on earth, but next to it.
Paranoid schizophrenic: Are you staring at us?
Pardon my driving. I'm reloading.
Paris Hilton... Vacancy.
Part of being sane is being a little bit crazy.
Patience will come to those who wait for it.
Patriot: a person who can holler the loudest without knowing what he is hollering about.
Pencils and pens are now illegal on school campus; this was made law after a student successfully proved that a sharpened pencil was, in fact, a weapon.
Pentiums melt in your PC, not in your hand.
People always ask me, "Where were you when Kennedy was shot?" Well, I don't have an alibi.
People are living longer nowadays because when the "Angel of Death" calls, he generally gets an answering machine.
People can be divided into three groups: Those who make things happen, those who watch things happen, and those who wonder what happened.
People come up to me and say, "Emo, do people really come up to you?"
People do not change, they only become more so.
People don't care how much you know until they know how much you care.
People don't waste time. They just spend it on things they don't need.