Now 7397 one-liners online!

Alphabet - Browse funny one-liners - r

 
Remember the tea kettle, though up to its neck in hot water, it continues to sing.
 
Remember the times when the air was clean and sex was dirty?
 
Remember, if you smoke after sex you're doing it too fast.
 
Remember, no matter where you go...there you are!
 
Remember, you are not alone. Everybody's family is crazy.
 
Remember: First you pillage then you burn.
 
Rented cars are the only true "all terrain vehicle".
 
Repetition does not establish validity.
 
Research is what I'm doing when I don't know what I'm doing.
 
Researchers have finally released the ingredients in Viagra: 2% aspirin, 2% ibuprofen, 1% filler, and 95% "Fix a Flat"
 
Resentment is like letting someone live rent-free in your head.
 
Resistance is futile (if > 1 ohm).
 
RETIREMENT: That marvelous time of life when the sun rises and you don't.
 
Right now I'm having amnesia and déjà vu at the same time.. I think I've forgotten this before...
 
Right now in Spain, it's the annual Running of the Bulls. Followed, of course, by the Soiling of the Pants and then the Burying of the Idiots.
 
Robertology: The study of Bob...
 
Robots will be able to buy happiness, but in condensed chip form.
 
Rock is dead. Long live paper and scissors.
 
Rocks tend to be rounder on even days of the year.
 
Rome did not create a great empire by having meetings, they did it by killing all those who opposed them.