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Alphabet - Browse funny one-liners - v

Vacation begins when dad says, "I know a short cut."
Vacation is what you take when you can't take what you've been taking any longer.
Vanna White has been very sick. She hasn't had a vowel movement since Thursday.
Vegetarian: Native American definition for "lousy hunter".
Veni, Vidi, VD. I came, I saw, I cankered.
Veni, Vidi, Velcro - I came, I saw, I stuck around.
Veni, vidi, visa. I came. I saw. I did a little shopping.
Very few things upset my wife. It makes me feel rather special to be one of them.
Very funny Scotty, now beam down my clothes.
Victory goes to the player who makes the next-to-last mistake.
Viewer discretion may be advised, but it's never really expected.
Views expressed by husbands are not necessarily those of the management.
Virginity is like a soapbubble, one prick and it is gone.
Visa is everywhere you want to be...except out of debt.
VISA is the mark of the beast. VI = 6 in Roman numberals. S = 6 in Greek, and supposedly A = 6 in Babylonian. So VISA = 666. Cute.
Visualize Whirled Peas
Vital papers will demonstrate their vitality by spontaneously moving from where you left them to where you can't find them.
Vitamins are good for what ails you. Viagra is good for what fails you.
Vote Democrat - it's easier than working!
Vote Republican - it's easier than thinking!