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You can't win. You can't break even. You can't even quit the game.
 
You cannot achieve the impossible without attempting the absurd.
 
You cannot get to the top by sitting on your bottom.
 
You cannot propel yourself forward by patting yourself on the back.
 
You cannot tell which way the train went by looking at the track
 
You chatter more than a dolphin by a fish bucket.
 
You could plunk me down in the middle of any woman's uterus, no compass, and I could find my way out of there [snaps fingers] like that!
 
You do not need a parachute to skydive. You only need a parachute to skydive twice.
 
You don't appreciate a lot of stuff in school until you get older. Little things like being spanked every day by a middle-aged woman. Stuff you pay good money for in later life.
 
You don't appreciate a lot of stuff in school until you get older... Little things like, being spanked every day by a middle aged woman.
 
You don't get old, you just become a classic.
 
You don't have to attend every argument you're invited to.
 
You don't have to explain something you never said.
 
You don't stop laughing because you grow old, you grow old because you stop laughing.
 
You don't win silver. You lose gold.
 
You either have to be first, best, or different.
 
You ever make fun of someone so much, you think you should thank them for all the good times you've had?
 
You ever notice that the word 'engaged' has the word 'gag' in the middle of it?
 
You ever wake up with an erection, roll over, and think you broke your dick?
 
You have a cough? Go home tonight, eat a whole box of Ex-Lax. Tomorrow you'll be afraid to cough.