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Jokes

Things you don't want to hear during surgery

1
"So Bob, did you hear the news this morning?" "Yeah, something about the sale prices on fresh organs going up..."
2
(sings) The left vein's connected to the...right aorta...the left brain's connected to the..stomach bone...
3
A screwdriver?... This can't be right.
4
Accept this sacrifice, O Great Lord of Darkness.
5
After everything we did, I can't believe this guy is still alive.
6
Ah well, you win some, you lose some...
7
Alright everyone, let's dig in.
8
Alright, this is our first operation, we should set up some kinda system. Hmmm...I'm thinking we have a sort of good cop, bad cop thing going on...
9
Alright... today's surgery will be performed by an American doctor...
10
An instruction manual would have been nice.
11
And now presenting: "Trading Spaces: Hospital edition!"
12
And now we remove the subject's brain and place it in the body of the ape.
13
Anyone see where I left that scalpel?
14
At least he doesn't have brain damage... Wait... Now he does.
15
Better save that. We'll need it for the autopsy.
16
Bo! Bo! Comeback with that! Bad Dog!
17
Check it out! Isn't this 100 times cooler than using juggling balls?
18
Check the fridge... Nope, just beer.
19
Could you stop that thing from beating
20
Death is probable... Now it's certain.