Jokes

You know you're getting older when...

181	Your best friend is dating someone half their age... And isn't breaking any laws.
182	Your car insurance goes down and your car payments go up.
183	Your childhood toys are now in a museum.
184	Your drugs of preference are now vitamins.
185	Your ears are hairier than your head.
186	Your friends marry and divorce instead of hook-up and break-up.
187	Your hot flashes set off the smoke alarm.
188	Your house plants are alive and you can't smoke any of them.
189	Your idea of a night out is sitting on the patio.
190	Your idea of weight lifting is standing up.
191	Your insurance company sends you half a calendar.
192	Your investment in health insurance is finally beginning to pay off.
193	Your joints are more accurate than the National Weather Service.
194	Your kids buy you and your spouse a t-shirt that says "old fart" and "old fart's wife".
195	Your knees buckle and your belt won't.
196	Your little black book only contains names ending in M.D.
197	Your medical expenses go up 50%.
198	Your memory is shorter and your complaining lasts longer.
199	Your mind bets you can do the simple physical tasks you've always done, and your body bets you can't...and gives odds.
200	Your mind makes contracts your body can't keep.

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