Now 7397 one-liners online!

Jokes

You know you're getting older when...

201
Your new easy chair has more options than your car.
202
Your pacemaker makes the garage door go up when you see a pretty girl.
203
Your potted plants stay alive.
204
Your Saturday Night Fever turns to Saturday Night Hot Flashes.
205
Your secrets are safe with your friends because they can't remember them either.
206
Your sideburns are 6-8 inches long and are combed over the top of your head.
207
Your Social Security Number only has three digits.
208
Your stuff strutted off without you!
209
Your supply of brain cells is finally down to a manageable size.
210
Your train of thought frequently derails.
211
Your try to straighten out the wrinkles in your socks and discover you aren't wearing any.
212
Youthful indiscretions harden into bad habits.
213
Youthful injuries return with a vengeance.