Now 7397 one-liners online!

Jokes

You know you're getting older when...

61
You can't remember the last time you laid on the floor to watch television.
62
You carry an umbrella.
63
You come to the conclusion that your worst enemy is gravity.
64
You confuse having a clear conscience with having a bad memory.
65
You consider coffee one of the most important things in life.
66
You constantly talk about the price of gasoline.
67
You develop a knack for wearing hats.
68
You discover that your measurements are now small, medium and large. In that order.
69
You discover the words, "whippersnapper", "scalawag" and "by-cracky" creeping into your vocabulary.
70
You don't care where your wife goes, just so you don't have to go along.
71
You don't get liquored up at home, to save money, before going to a bar.
72
You don't know what time Taco Bell closes anymore.
73
You don't recall what the first thing to go was.
74
You don't remember being absent minded.
75
You don't remember when your wild oats turned to shredded wheat.
76
You enjoy hearing about other people's operations.
77
You feed your dog Science Diet instead of McDonalds leftovers.
78
You feel like the morning after when you haven't been anywhere the night before.
79
You finally get your head together and your body starts falling apart.
80
You find it hard to get out of a low-down car.