Now 7397 one-liners online!

Jokes

You know you're getting older when...

81
You find this list tasteless and insensitive.
82
You find yourself beginning to like accordion music.
83
You find yourself standing in line and can't remember why.
84
You frequently find yourself telling people what a loaf of bread USED to cost.
85
You get into a heated argument about pension plans.
86
You get propositioned by AARP.
87
You get the same sensation from a rocking chair that you once got from a roller coaster.
88
You give up all your bad habits and you still don't feel good.
89
You go from 130 days of vacation time to 14.
90
You go from hoping for a BMW to hoping for a BM.
91
You go to the drug store for ibuprofen and antacid, not condoms and pregnancy tests.
92
You got cable for the weather channel. Old Folks MTV!
93
You have a party and the neighbors don't even realize it.
94
You have ever used the word NOSIREEBOB.
95
You have more hair growing out of your ears than you have on your head.
96
You have more patience, but it is actually that you just don't care anymore.
97
You have to stop jogging for your health because your thighs rubbing together start your panty hose on fire.
98
You have too much room in the house and not enough in the medicine cabinet.
99
You hear your favorite song on an elevator.
100
You hold all reading material at arms length just to read it.