Jokes

You might be a redneck if...

981	Your local yellow pages has only 3 sections: places to get cigarettes, place to get liquor, and places to get bait.
982	Your mailbox holds up one end of your clothesline.
983	Your mailing address includes the word "holler".
984	Your Mama has failed the 3rd. grade five times.
985	Your mama has more gadgets and accessories on her pickup truck than you do.
986	Your mama saves aluminum foil.
987	Your mama spends more money fixing up her old trailer house than it cost to build a new brick home.
988	Your Mama was ever asked to leave a Bingo game because of her language.
989	Your Mama yells, "Close the screen door boy, you're letting all the bugs out!"
990	Your masseuse uses lard.
991	Your mechanic looks under the front of your car or truck and asks if you work for the Roadkill Cafe.
992	Your mom gives you tips on how to sneak booze into sporting events.
993	Your mom is lighting bottle rockets with her cigarette while walking the children on Halloween.
994	Your mom is your sister,aunt and your dads mother.
995	Your momma makes two turkeys for Thanksgiving, one for the family and the other for the dogs.
996	Your moms maiden name is Bubba.
997	Your most expensive shoes have numbers on the heels.
998	Your mother always said keep your nose clean and from this day on you pick your nose.
999	Your mother doesn't put shoes on to go grocery shopping.
1000	Your mother doesn't remove the Marlboro from her lips before telling the State Trooper to kiss her ass.

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