Jokes

You might be a redneck if...

1001	Your mother has "ammo" on her Christmas list.
1002	Your mother has been involved in a fistfight at a high school sports event.
1003	Your mother has more chest hair than your father.
1004	Your mother keeps a spit cup on the ironing board.
1005	Your mother kicked you out of the house because you pawned her favorite chainsaw to buy a deer tag.
1006	Your mother's only shoes are house slippers.
1007	Your neighbor has a refridgerator on his front porch stocked with beer so he won't have to get off the sofa to welcome friends.
1008	Your neighbor uses left-over house paint to paint his car.
1009	Your neighbors refer to you as the pig farmers and you don't have any pigs.
1010	Your new job promotion means that the company foots the bill to have your name sewn on your shirts.
1011	Your old toilet now serves as a flower pot in your front yard.
1012	Your only condiment on the dining room table is the economy size bottle of ketchup.
1013	Your only time spent sober is the time spent getting another 6 pack.
1014	your other truck is made by John Deere.
1015	Your outhouse is in your front yard.
1016	Your own farts don't seem to smell so bad.
1017	Your parakeet knows the phrase "Open up, Police!".
1018	Your pick-up has four new tires and none of them are the same size.
1019	Your pick-up is at least 3 colors.
1020	Your pickup truck and wife are the same age.

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