Now 7397 one-liners online!

Latest One-liners

Here you can find a list of the last 500 one-liners that were added to the database.

 
Four-wheel-drive just means getting stuck in more inaccessible places.
 
Brilliant's Observation On Modern Art: Not all our artists are playing a joke on the public. Some are genuinely mad.
 
There is no job so simple that it cannot be done wrrong.
 
I pretend to work. They pretend to pay me.
 
All those who believe in psychokinesis raise my hand.
 
Death is Nature's way of saying 'slow down'.
 
A penny saved is ridiculous.
 
MY CHILD was trustee of the month at ELMWOOD!!
 
I killed a 6-pack just to watch it die.
 
I is a college student.
 
2 + 2 = 5 for extremely large values of 2.
 
Going the speed of light is bad for your age.
 
Fairy tales: horror stories for children to get them used to reality.
 
My wife said "If you go hunting or fishing one more time I'm going to leave you"... I'm sure going to miss her.
 
My Hockey Mom Can Beat Up Your Soccer Mom
 
Ask me about microwaving cats for fun and profit.
 
I may be fat, but you're ugly - I can lose weight!
 
Ambivalent? Well yes and no....
 
The Schizophrenic: An Unauthorized Autobiography
 
I love animals, they taste great.