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Latest One-liners

Here you can find a list of the last 500 one-liners that were added to the database.

I have nothing to declare except my genius.
It would be funny if, while performing an abortion, someone yelled 'abort! abort!'
A tightrope-walker tripping on a sidewalk is completely unacceptable.
Politics is the art of looking for trouble, finding it, misdiagnosing it and then misapplying the wrong remedies.
Panties not best thing on earth, but next to it.
If you're going to ride my ass at least pull my hair and make me scream!
The Lord gave us the power to procreate. So, let's practice!
The big difference between sex for money and sex for free is that sex for money usually costs a lot less.
If a cow laughed, would milk come out her nose?
I asked my wife if she enjoys a cigarette after sex and she said, "No, one drag is enough."
Ask: "Do you know what winks and screws like a tiger?" (No.) Wink.
I ran over a cat on the corner of "maybe next time" and "shoulda been faster".
George washington said "We would have a black president when pigs fly!"... well, swine flu.
I have a bad slice in my golf swing, now my golf partner is dead.
If you see a man in glasses only walking back into your apartment building from day to day, its probably superman.
If you have a shitty job, you probably shouldn't lick your fingers at lunch time.
You never really know a man until you have divorced him.
You can't stay married in a situation where you are afraid to go to sleep in case your wife might cut your throat.
What a lovely surprise to finally discover how unlonely being alone can be.
The happiest time in any man's life is just after the first divorce.