Now 7397 one-liners online!

Latest One-liners

Here you can find a list of the last 500 one-liners that were added to the database.

 
People said there will be a black president when pigs fly. 100 days after Obama, swine flu!
 
Something you never want to hear during surgery: "Who wants to try something new?"
 
Something you never want to hear during surgery: "Ewww blood!"
 
Laugh and the world laughs with you. Puke... and you are on your own.
 
90% of men kiss their wife goodbye when they leave the house. The rest kiss their house goodbye when they leave the wife.
 
Do chickens think rubber humans are funny?
 
I was so poor, I couldn't pay attention.
 
I hope I'm the last guy on earth -- I wanna see if all those women were lying to me.
 
That boy's about as sharp as a bag of wet mice.
 
Sometimes I think war is God's way of teaching us geography.
 
If it's true that our species is alone in the universe, then I'd have to say that the universe aimed rather low and settled for very little.
 
Give a man a fish, and you'll feed him for a day. Teach a man to fish, and he'll buy a funny hat.
 
Communism doesn't work because people like to own stuff.
 
The probability of someone watching you is proportional to the stupidity of your action.
 
The difference between theory and practice ... is larger in practice than in theory.
 
So if it is in, or if it is on, it is as it is, be it in or on.
 
Paris Hilton... Vacancy.
 
Hey, I may have Alzheimer's, but at least I don't have Alzheimer's!
 
I gotta tell you, I am loving this yada yada thing. I can gloss over my whole life story.
 
I am a kind of paranoiac in reverse. I suspect people of plotting to make me happy.