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Latest One-liners

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If you are asked to join a parade, don't march behind the elephants.
 
Happiness is not a circus clown rolling around in a big tractor tire so that his arms and legs form "spokes." Happiness is when he stops.
 
If you're a circus clown, and you have a dog that you use in your act, I don't think it's a good idea to also dress the dog up like a clown, because people see that and they think, "Forgive me, but that's just too much."
 
Why is it that we will laugh at a man in a clown outfit, but we don't laugh at a man just walking down the street carrying a clown outfit in one of those plastic dry-cleaner bags?
 
Laugh, clown, laugh. This is what I tell myself whenever I dress up like Bozo.
 
To me, clowns aren't funny. In fact, they're kinda scary. I've wondered where this started, and I think it goes back to the time I went to the circus and a clown killed my dad.
 
Security depends not so much upon how much you have as upon how much you can do without.
 
Second marriage is the triumph of hope over experience.
 
Science is not a sacred cow. Science is a horse. Don't worship it. Feed it.
 
Science is always simple and always profound. It is only the half-truths that are dangerous.
 
Say no, then negotiate.
 
Rule of defactualization: information deteriorates upward through bureaucracies.
 
Roses are red violets are blue, I'm schizophrenic and so am I.
 
Repetition does not establish validity.
 
Remember the tea kettle, though up to its neck in hot water, it continues to sing.
 
Real programmers argue with the systems analyst as a matter of principle.
 
Quit while your still behind.
 
Quality assurance doesn't.
 
Prostitution is the only business where you can go into the hole and still come out ahead.
 
Progress may have been all right once, but it went on too long.