Now 7397 one-liners online!

Random One-liners

Display one-liners.
 
When I was a child I could remember anything... Whether it happened or not.
 
The facts, though they may be interesting, are totally irrelevant.
 
I went to see my doctor. "Doctor, every morning when I get up and look in the mirror, I feel like throwing up. What's wrong with me?" He said "I don't know but your eyesight is perfect."
 
They say marriages are made in Heaven. But so is thunder and lightning.
 
Everyone who hates speeding tickets, raise your right foot.
Display one-liners.

One-liner randomizer settings

With the quotes randomizer you can view up to 10 random one-liners at a time by changing the number on the top and bottom of the one-liners list.