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When I go to a restaurant I always ask the manager, "Give me a table near a waiter."
 
Never smack a man who's chewin' tobacco.
 
I need my sinuses like I need a hole in the head.
 
Anthony's Law of the Workshop: Any tool, when dropped, will roll into the least accessible corner or the workshop. Corollary: On the way to the corner, any dropped tool will first always strike your toes.
 
April showers bring May flowers, and Mayflowers bring Pilgrims.
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