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If nothing ever sticks to TEFLON, how do they make TEFLON stick to the pan?
 
Talk sense to a fool and he calls you foolish.
 
The vagina is its own little person. It gets haircuts from time to time, sometimes it has its own lawyer. Everything affects it: kittens, balloon rides, Dave Matthews in concert. What affects the penis? Whiskey and pepper spray, that's it.
 
Always drink upstream from the herd.
 
It used to be only death and taxes were inevitable. Now, of course, there's shipping and handling, too.
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