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The only reason I take my wife anywhere is so I don't have to kiss her goodbye.
 
Age and knowledge don't always come together. Sometimes you just get the age...
 
All the plants in my house are dead - I shot them last night. I was teasing them by watering them with ice cubes.
 
Gun Control: Use both hands.
 
When Peter chopped off the Centurion's ear at Gethsemene, and Jesus healed it, did He offer the Centurion a lollipop for being such a brave little man?
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