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Guys are like dogs. They keep coming back. Ladies are like cats. Yell at a cat one time...they're gone.
 
I can teach my cat any trick he wants to do!
 
You ever notice that the word 'engaged' has the word 'gag' in the middle of it?
 
I'm busier than Michael Jackson in a day care center.
 
You know what would make a good story? Something about a clown who makes people happy, but inside he's real sad. Also, he has severe diarrhea.
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