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Children in the back seats of cars cause accidents, but accidents in the back seats of cars cause children.
 
When people run around and around in circles we say they are crazy - When planets do it we say they are orbiting.
 
Be nice to your friends. You never know when you are going to need them to empty your bedpan.
 
My doctor recently told me that jogging could add years to my life. I think he was right. I've only been jogging once and feel ten years older already.
 
I saw a woman wearing a sweatshirt with 'Guess' on it. I said, 'Thyroid problem?'
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