Now 7397 one-liners online!

Runners-up to the TOP 100 funny one-liners!

Here you can find 400 funny runners-up to the TOP 100 funny one-liners. Runners-up one-liners are one-liners that did not make it to the TOP 100.

361
If you don't care where you are, then you ain't lost.
362
A seminar on time travel will be held two weeks ago.
363
Don't play stupid with me - I'm better at it.
364
How can men use sex to get what they want? Sex IS what they want.
365
I'd kill for a Nobel Peace Prize.
366
They say that alcohol kills slowly. So what? Who's in a hurry ?
367
If at first you don't succeed, look in the trash for the instructions.
368
Those who say they "sleep like a baby", haven't got one.
369
Every time you open your mouth, some idiot starts talking.
370
I always try to go the extra mile at work, but my boss always finds me and brings me back.
371
Sex at age 90 is like trying to shoot pool with a rope.
372
Fifty-six percent of all women carry condoms. The other 44% carry babies.
373
I ran into my ex the other day, hit reverse, and ran into him again.
374
I pretend to work as long as they pretend to pay me.
375
I thought I was wrong once, but it turns out I was mistaken.
376
Bills travel through the mail at twice the speed of checks.
377
Two antennas met on a roof, fell in love and got married. The ceremony wasn't much, but the reception was excellent.
378
Americans have different ways of saying things. They say "elevator", we say "lift"... they say "President", we say "stupid psychopathic git".
379
Sex is like software: For every one who pays for it there are hundreds getting it for free.
380
Men are like a fine wine. They start out as grapes, and it's up to women to stomp the shit out of them until they turn into something acceptable to have dinner with.