Runners-up to the TOP 100 funny one-liners!

Here you can find 400 funny runners-up to the TOP 100 funny one-liners. Runners-up one-liners are one-liners that did not make it to the TOP 100.

461	It's always darkest before dawn. So if you're going to steal your neighbor's newspaper, that's the time to do it.
462	Before marriage, a man yearns for the woman he loves. After marriage, the 'Y' becomes silent.
463	When you go to the drugstore, why are the condoms not in with the other party supplies?
464	If God wanted me to touch my toes, he would have put them on my knees.
465	It takes a big man to cry, but it takes a bigger man to laugh at that man.
466	The only difference between the people I've dated and Charles Manson is that Manson has the decency to look like a nut case when you first meet him.
467	It's bad luck to be superstitious.
468	Two eyebrows are better than one.
469	Born Free... Taxed to Death.
470	Any ship can be a minesweeper... once.
471	The journey of a thousand miles begins with a broken fan belt and a flat tire.
472	Thank God I'm an atheist.
473	How many men does it take to open a beer? None. It should be opened by the time she brings it.
474	Everybody is somebody else's weirdo.
475	If diamonds are a girl's best friend and a dog is man's best friend, who really is the dumber sex?
476	I don't do drugs. I get the same effect just standing up fast.
477	I disapprove of every conspiracy of which I am not a part.
478	Hey, I may have Alzheimer's, but at least I don't have Alzheimer's!
479	We all can't be heroes. Somebody has to sit on the sides and clap as they go by.
480	People who complain about the way the ball bounces usually dropped it.

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