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Runners-up to the TOP 100 funny one-liners!

Here you can find 400 funny runners-up to the TOP 100 funny one-liners. Runners-up one-liners are one-liners that did not make it to the TOP 100.

Children in the dark make accidents, but accidents in the dark make children.
Girls are like roads, more the curves, more the dangerous they are.
Does time fly when you're having sex or was it really just one minute?
Who was the first to see a cow and think "I wonder what will happen if I squeeze these dangly things and drink whatever comes out?"
You know, they got a luggage store in the airport? A place to buy a piece of luggage? How late do you have to be for a flight where you're like, 'Fuck it - just grab a pile of shit. We'll get a bag at the airport'.
According to a new survey, women say they feel more comfortable undressing in front of men than they do undressing in front of other women. They say that women are too judgmental, where, of course, men are just grateful.
Why didn't Noah swat those two mosquitoes?
Well aren't you a waste of two billion years of evolution.
If you can stay calm while all around you is chaos, then you probably haven't completely understood the situation.
Without nipples, breasts would be pointless.
If you can't convince them, confuse them.
The difference between in-laws and outlaws? Outlaws are wanted.
Build a man a fire, and he'll be warm for a day. Set a man on fire, and he'll be warm for the rest of his life.
If you keep your feet firmly on the ground, you'll have trouble putting on your pants.
By the time a man realises that his father was right, he has a son who thinks he's wrong.
America is a country which produces citizens who will cross the ocean to fight for democracy but won't cross the street to vote.
To err is human, to blame it on somebody else shows management potential.
Money talks...but all mine ever says is good-bye.
They keep saying the right person will come along, I think mine got hit by a truck.
See, the problem is that God gives men a brain and a penis, and only enough blood to run one at a time.