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Runners-up to the TOP 100 funny one-liners!
Here you can find 400 funny runners-up to the TOP 100 funny one-liners. Runners-up one-liners are one-liners that did not make it to the TOP 100.
| 141 | Isn't it odd the way everyone automatically assumes that the goo in soap dispensers is always soap? I like to fill mine with mustard, just to teach people a lesson in trust. |
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| 142 | A positive attitude may not solve all your problems, but it will annoy enough people to make it worth the effort. |
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| 143 | I don't have an attitude; I have a personality you can't handle. |
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| 144 | By the time you learn the rules of life, you're too old to play the game. |
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| 145 | Progress is made by lazy men looking for an easier way to do things. |
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| 146 | The probability of someone watching you is proportional to the stupidity of your action. |
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| 147 | Why is it so hard for women to find men that are sensitive, caring, and good-looking? Because those men already have boyfriends. |
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| 148 | Panties not best thing on earth, but next to it. |
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| 149 | It is hard to understand how a cemetery raised its burial cost and blamed it on the cost of living. |
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| 150 | Friends may come and go, but enemies accumulate. |
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| 151 | We are all time travelers moving at the speed of exactly 60 minutes per hour |
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| 152 | Why do they lock gas station bathrooms? Are they afraid someone will clean them? |
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| 153 | I read recipes the same way I read science fiction. I get to the end and I think, "Well, that's not going to happen." |
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| 154 | Dogs have masters. Cats have staff. |
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| 155 | Experience is what you get when you didn't get what you wanted. |
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| 156 | If you're looking for sympathy, you'll find it in the dictionary between "shit" and "syphilis" |
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| 157 | There are three kinds of people: The ones who learn by reading. The ones who learn by observation. And the rest of them who have to touch the fire to learn it's hot. |
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| 158 | The Miss Universe pageant is fixed. All the winners are from Earth. |
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| 159 | Why do people keep running over a string a dozen times with their vacuum cleaner, then reach down, pick it up, examine it, then put it down to give their vacuum one more chance? |
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| 160 | We have all heard that a million monkeys banging on a million typewriters will eventually reproduce the entire works of Shakespeare. Now, thanks to the Internet, we know this is not true. |
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The runners-up list will be recalculated 4 times a day, just like the TOP 100 funny one-liners. The next update will take place in 1 hour and 21 minutes. You may experience some one-liners to shift up or down.
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