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Runners-up to the TOP 100 funny one-liners!
Here you can find 400 funny runners-up to the TOP 100 funny one-liners. Runners-up one-liners are one-liners that did not make it to the TOP 100.
| 161 | I don't have a beer gut, I have a protective covering for my rock hard abs. |
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| 162 | Why is it called tourist season if we can't shoot them? |
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| 163 | Impotence: Nature's way of saying "No hard feelings". |
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| 164 | You can easily judge the character of a man by how he treats those who can do nothing for him. |
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| 165 | Materialism: buying things we don't need with money we don't have to impress people that don't matter. |
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| 166 | People tend to make rules for others and exceptions for themselves. |
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| 167 | The best way to lie is to tell the truth, carefully edited truth. |
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| 168 | I have all the money I'll ever need - if I die by 4:00 p.m. today. |
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| 169 | Hard work never killed anyone, but why take the chance? |
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| 170 | Join The Army, visit exotic places, meet strange people, then kill them. |
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| 171 | Do you realize that in about 40 years, we'll have thousands of old ladies running around with tattoos? |
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| 172 | Life's like a bird, it's pretty cute until it shits on your head. |
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| 173 | I married Miss Right. I just didn't know her first name was Always. |
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| 174 | A celebrity is someone who works hard all his life to become known and then wears dark glasses to avoid being recognised. |
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| 175 | The right to be heard does not automatically include the right to be taken seriously. |
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| 176 | Why is it called Alcoholics ANONYMOUS when the first thing you do is stand up and say, 'My name is Peter and I am an alcoholic'?
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| 177 | When you choke a smurf, what color does it turn? |
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| 178 | Alcohol is a perfect solvent: It dissolves marriages, families and careers. |
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| 179 | Alcohol doesn't solve any problems...but then again, neither does milk. |
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| 180 | I saw six men kicking and punching the mother-in-law. My neighbour said 'Are you going to help?' I said 'No, six should be enough.'
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