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A baby first laughs at the age of four weeks. By that time his eyes focus well enough to see you clearly.
 
A baby: A loud noise at one end and no sense of responsibility at the other.
 
An adolescent is someone who acts like a baby when they aren't treated like an adult.
 
And your cry-baby whiny-assed opinion would be...?
 
Anyone who says "Easy as taking candy from a baby" has never tried it.
 
Baby-sitter: a teenager acting like an adult, while the adults are out acting like teenagers.
 
Did you hear about the Chinese couple that had a retarded baby? They named him "Sum Ting Wong".
 
Every 4 seconds a woman has a baby. We must find this woman and stop her.
 
Giving away baby clothes and furniture is a major cause of pregnancy.
 
Hallmark Card: "How could two people as beautiful as you have such an ugly baby?"
 
I took a baby shower.
 
I was such an ugly baby. My mother never breast fed me. She told me that she only liked me as a friend.
 
I'm as confused as a baby in a topless bar.
 
If corn oil comes from corn, where does baby oil come from?
 
If Joe was such a hot-shot carpenter, why couldn't he whip up a groovy little cradle for Baby J.?
 
Laughter is like changing a baby's diaper. It doesn't permanently solve any problems, but it makes thing more acceptable for awhile.
 
My friend has a baby. I'm recording all the noises he makes so later I can ask him what he meant.
 
My wife says that the difference between a husband and childbirth is that one can be terribly painful and sometimes almost unbearable while the other is just having a baby.
 
So a baby seal walks into a club..
 
The only time a woman wishes that she were a year older is when she is expecting a baby.
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