Search One-liners

"Well ya see, it's like this... A herd of buffalo can only move as fast as the slowest buffalo. And when the herd is hunted, it is the slowest and weakest ones at the back that are killed first. This natural selection is good for the herd as a whole, because the general speed and health of the whole group keeps improving by the regular killing of the weakest members. In much the same way, the human brain can only operate as fast as the slowest brain cells. Excessive intake of alcohol, as we know, kills brain cells. But naturally, it attacks the slowest and weakest brain cells first. In this way, regular consumption of beer eliminates the weaker brain cells, making the brain a faster and more efficient machine. That's why you always feel smarter after a few beers."

365.25 days of drinking low-calorie beer because it's less filling == 1 lite year

A skeleton walked into a bar and asked for a beer and a mop.

Beauty is in the eye of the beer holder.

Beer doesn't make you fat. It makes you lean (against doors, tables, walls).

Beer: Helping ugly people have sex since 3000 B.C.!!!

College students. We drink more beer before 9:00 a.m. than most people drink all day!

Everybody has to believe in something. I believe I'll have another beer.

God made pot. Man made beer...Who do you trust ?

I can't spell and beer doesn't help.