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Found 18 one-liners matching cats
 
 
All of the people in my building are insane. The guy above me designs synthetic hairballs for ceramic cats.
 
All of the people in my building are insane. The guy above me designs synthetic hairballs for ceramic cats. The lady across the hall tried to rob a department store, with a pricing gun. She said, "Give me all of the money in the vault, or I'm marking down everything in the store."
 
Ask me about microwaving cats for fun and profit.
 
Big cats can be dangerous, but a little pussy never hurt anybody.
 
Cats make everything taste better.
 
Do not meddle in the affairs of cats, for they are subtle and will piss on your computer.
 
Do radioactive cats have 18 half-lives?
 
Dogs have masters. Cats have staff.
 
Guys are like dogs. They keep coming back. Ladies are like cats. Yell at a cat one time...they're gone.
 
I have never understood why women love cats. Cats are independent, they don't listen, they don't come in when you call, they like to stay out all night, and when they're home they like to be left alone and sleep. In other words, every quality that women hate in a man, they love in a cat.
 
I like cats too. Let's exchange recipes.
 
I like pigs better than cat and dogs. Dogs are subservient and look up to man. Cats are aloof and look down on man. A pig, however, will look you in the eye, and see his equal.
 
I love cats, they taste just like chicken.
 
I put contact lenses in my dog's eyes. They had little pictures of cats on them. Then I took one out and he ran around in circles.
 
If I want to hear the pitter patter of little feet, I'll put shoes on my cats.
 
So many cats, so few recipes.
 
When dogs leap onto your bed, it's because they adore being with you. When cats leap onto your bed, it's because they adore your bed.
 
Women and cats will do as they please, and men and dogs should relax and get used to the idea.
 
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