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Found 46 one-liners matching death

	I can't live with death, he's always leaving the toilet seat up.
	I know I'm drinking myself to a slow death, but then I'm in no hurry.
	I'm completely in favor of the separation of Church and State. My idea is that these two institutions screw us up enough on their own, so both of them together is certain death.
	If you treat every situation like a life or death matter, be prepared to die a lot of times.
	In case of emergency, break glass. Scream. Bleed to death.
	It is a sad fact that 50 percent of marriages in this country end in divorce. But hey, the other half end in death. You could be one of the lucky ones!
	It is impossible to experience one's own death objectively and still carry a tune.
	It isn't that life is short. It's that death is so long.
	It used to be only death and taxes were inevitable. Now, of course, there's shipping and handling, too.
	Life is pleasant. Death is peaceful. It's the transition that's troublesome.
	Life sucks, but Death swallows!
	Never knock on Death's door. Ring the bell and run, he hates that.
	One difference between death and taxes is that death doesn't get worse every time Congress meets
	People are living longer nowadays because when the "Angel of Death" calls, he generally gets an answering machine.
	People say that hard work never killed anybody, but did you ever know anybody who rested to death?
	Some people think football is a matter of life and death. I assure you, it's much more serious than that.
	That lowdown scoundrel deserves to be kicked to death by a jackass, and I'm just the one to do it.
	The only certain thing in life is death.
	There will always be death and taxes; however, death doesn't get worse every year.
	Two babies were born on the same day at the same hospital. They lay there and looked at each other. Their families came and took them away. Eighty years later, by a bizarre coincidence, they lay in the same hospital, on their deathbeds, next to each other. One of them looked at the other and said, "So. What did you think?"

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