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Found 42 one-liners matching doctor
I was so ugly when I was born, the doctor slapped my mother.
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I was thinking of becoming a doctor. I have the handwriting for it.
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I went to see my doctor. "Doctor, every morning when I get up and look in the mirror, I feel like throwing up. What's wrong with me?" He said "I don't know but your eyesight is perfect." |
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I went to the doctor today and he refused to write me a prescription for Viagra. He said it would be like putting a new flagpole on a condemned building. |
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I went to the eye doctor and found out I needed glasses for reading. So, I got some flip-up contact lenses. |
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I've got a wonderful doctor. If you can't afford the operation, he touches up the X rays. |
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Isn't it a bit unnerving that doctors call what they do "practice"? |
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Just because your doctor has a name for your condition doesn't mean he knows what it is. |
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Middle age starts when you have been warned to slow down, not by a motorcycle cop, but by your doctor. |
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Midlife is when you go to the doctor and you realize you are now so old, you have to pay someone to look at you naked. |
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My doctor gave me two weeks to live. I hope they're in August. |
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My doctor recently told me that jogging could add years to my life. I think he was right. I've only been jogging once and feel ten years older already. |
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Never agree to plastic surgery if the doctor's office is full of portraits by Picasso. |
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The American Heart and Lung Association surveyed doctors and found that 9 out of 10 doctors who tried Camels went back to women.
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The doctors X-rayed my head and found nothing. |
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There's a new medical crisis. Doctors are reporting that many men are having allergic reactions to latex condoms. They say they cause severe swelling. So what's the problem? |
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When I told the doctor about my loss of memory, he made me pay in advance.
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When I was born, the doctor came out to the waiting room and said to my father, I'm very sorry. We did everything we could. But he pulled through. |
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When they say Doctors are practicing, they aren't kidding. |
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Whenever I fill out an application, in the part that says "If an emergency, notify:" I put "DOCTOR". What's my mother going to do? |
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