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Found 83 one-liners matching dog

	I saw a sign that said "seeing eye dogs only" who is supposed to read this? The dog?
	I spilled Spot Remover on my dog. Now he's gone.
	I wish I was on a Cincinnati street corner holding a clean dog.
	I wish scientists would come up with a way to make dogs a lot bigger, but with a smaller head. That way, they'd still be good as watchdogs, but they wouldn't eat as much.
	I'm so broke I have to jack the dog off to feed the cat.
	I've been on so many blind dates, I should get a free dog.
	If a dog sniffs your ass, you're probably a bitch.
	If diamonds are a girl's best friend and a dog is man's best friend, who really is the dumber sex?
	If I ever caught another man flirting with my wife, I'd hide his leader dog.
	If the United States starts using the metric system will blind people have to use Litre dogs ?
	If you pick up a starving dog and make him prosperous, he will not bite you. This is the principal difference between a dog and a man.
	If you think you're a person of some influence, try ordering somebody else's dog around.
	If you're a circus clown, and you have a dog that you use in your act, I don't think it's a good idea to also dress the dog up like a clown, because people see that and they think, "Forgive me, but that's just too much."
	If your dog is barking at the back door and your wife is yelling at the front door, who do you let in first? The dog, of course. He'll shut up once you let him in.
	In dog years, I'm dead!
	In order to keep a true perspective of one's importance, everyone should have a dog that will worship him and a cat that will ignore him.
	It is not the size of the dog in the fight but the size of the fight in the dog.
	It's a dog-eat-dog world out there, and I'm wearing Milk-Bone underwear.
	It's sad how whole families are torn apart by simple things, like a pack of wild dogs.
	It's tough to stay married. My wife kisses the dog on the lips..yet she won't drink from my glass!

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