Search One-liners

A friend of mine once sent me a post card with a picture of the entire planet Earth taken from space. On the back it said, "Wish you were here."

Blessed are the censors; they shall inhibit the earth.

Earth first! (We'll strip-mine the other planets later).

Earth is a great, big funhouse without the fun.

Earth is the insane asylum for the universe.

Everyone thinks I'm psychotic...except for my friends deep inside the earth.

God creates dinosaurs. God kills dinosaurs. God creates man. Man kills God. Man creates dinosaurs. Dinosaurs eat man... Woman inherits the earth. (Jurassic Park)

Here is a test to find whether your mission on earth is finished: If you're alive, it isn't.

I own a 1979 Fiat 850 Spyder. A while back, the generator went out. I also lost a couple of bolts. The bolts I replaced with some cheap Japanese parts and the generator with a German remanufactured part. Since then, the bloody car has developed a severe case of meglomania and insists I support it in it's bit to rule the world and eliminate Yugos from the face of the earth. What Next?

If aliens are smart enough to travel through space, why do they keep abducting the dumbest people on Earth?