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Found 65 one-liners matching fire

	I had to give up jogging for my health. My thighs kept rubbing together and setting my pantyhose on fire.
	I have a microwave fireplace in my house. The other night I laid down in front of the fire for the evening in two minutes.
	I like to go to art museums and name the untitled paintings... Boy With Pail... Kitten On Fire.
	I used to be a waiter, but I was fired for clearing tables. I was clearing them for take off. I had them all lined up outside. People thought it was an outdoor cafe. I said, "No, these are leaving at 3." They were going to fire me anyway, because I told them I thought they should put the wrapper on the inside of the straw since that's the part you don't want to get dirty.
	I used to be an airline pilot. I got fired because I kept locking the keys in the plane. They caught me on an 80 foot stepladder with a coat hanger.
	I used to work at a health food store. I got fired for drinking straight Bosco on the job.
	I used to work in a fire hydrant factory. You couldn't park anywhere near the place.
	I worked in a health food store, but got fired for eating cotton candy and drinking straight Bosco on the job.
	If a building is on fire, and you make more fire, would it be considered making the fire worse or better?
	If a firefighter fights fire and a crime fighter fights crime, what does a freedom fighter fight?
	If an infinite number of rednecks riding in an infinite number of pickup trucks fire an infinite number of shotgun rounds at an infinite number of highway signs, they will eventually produce all the world's great literary works in Braille.
	If God had intended man to smoke, he would have set him on fire.
	If it burns when you pee, make sure to bring a fire extinguisher.
	If you aren't fired with enthusiasm, you will be fired with enthusiasm.
	In every organization, there will always be one person who knows what's going on. This person must be fired.
	Indian build small fire stand real close, White man build BIG fire stand way back....
	Learning at some schools is like drinking from a firehose.
	Love is a fire. Whether it will warm your heart or burn down your house, you can never tell.
	Make a man a fire, you keep him warm for a day. Set a man on fire, you keep him warm for the rest of his life.
	Most people work just hard enough not to get fired and get paid just enough money not to quit.

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