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A fool and his money are my best friends
 
A friendship founded on business is better than a business founded on friendship.
 
Alzheimer's advantage: New friends every day.
 
Be nice to your friends. You never know when you are going to need them to empty your bedpan.
 
Constant use will wear out anything... especially friends.
 
Deja Vu - When you think you're doing something you've done before, it's because God thought it was so funny, he had to rewind it for his friends.
 
Earn cash in your spare time. Blackmail your friends.
 
Everyone thinks I'm psychotic...except for my friends deep inside the earth.
 
Friends are chocolate chips in the cookie of life!
 
Friends are like condoms: They protect you when things get hard.
 
Friends are like stars. You may not always see them but you know they are always there
 
Friends help you move. Real friends help you move bodies.
 
Friends may come and go, but enemies accumulate.
 
Friendship is like money, easier made than kept.
 
Getting married is very much like going to a restaurant with friends. You order what you want, then when you see what the other fellow has, you wish you had ordered that.
 
Girlfriends are like credit cards, you can't get one unless you already have one.
 
God made relatives. Thank God we can choose our friends!
 
God made us brothers, but prozac made us friends.
 
Hallmark Card: "We have been friends for a very long time, what say we call it quits."
 
Hallmark Card: "Your friends and I wanted to do something special for your birthday.... so we're having you put to sleep."
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