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Found 65 one-liners matching friends
Heart attacks... God's revenge for eating his animal friends. |
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I argue very well. Ask any of my remaining friends. I can win an argument on any topic, against any opponent. People know this, and steer clear of me at parties. Often, as a sign of their great respect, they don't even invite me. |
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I had a friend who was a clown. When he died, all his friends went to the funeral in one car. |
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I have faith in fools, my friends call it self-confidence. |
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I have friends who swear they dream in color. I say it's just a pigment of their imagination. |
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I never turn my back on my friends, I don't trust them that much. |
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I saw a want ad: "light housekeeping." They said "Here, change this bulb." I said "I'll need some friends." |
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I think my girlfriend has had sixty-one boyfriends before me. She calls me her sixty second lover. |
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If Barbie is so popular, why do you have to buy her friends? |
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If we take matrimony at it's lowest, we regard it as a sort of friendship recognised by the police.
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If you can buy a person's friendship, it is not worth it. |
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If you receive something that says "Send this to all your friends", please consider me not your friend. |
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It is not sufficient to be a success, it is also necessary for your friends to be failures. |
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It's what people don't know about each other that makes them such good friends. |
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Laugh and the world laughs with you. Cry and you cry with your girlfriends. |
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Lord, if I can't be skinny, please let all my friends be fat. |
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Love your enemies...just in case your friends turn out to be a bunch of bastards. |
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My friends and I played a new version of Russian roulette. We passed around six girls and one of them had VD. |
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My girlfriend told me I should be more affectionate. So I got two girlfriends. |
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No, I'm not addicted. The drugs are my friends. |
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