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AOL reminds me of an old girlfriend. Just when I think the connection has been established, it suddenly says, "Goodbye."
 
During sex, my girlfriend always wants to talk to me. Just the other night she called me from a hotel.
 
Early to bed, early to rise, and your girlfriend goes out with other guys.
 
Eat your spinach and you'll grow up big and strong like Popeye.
You'll also end up with a girlfriend that looks like Olive Oyl.
 
Girlfriends are like credit cards, you can't get one unless you already have one.
 
Happiness is watching the TV at your girlfriend's house during a power failure.
 
I almost had a psychic girlfriend but she left me before we met.
 
I asked my new girlfriend what sort of books she's interested in... she said "check books".
 
I had a girlfriend that was so fat her belly button made an echo.
 
I listen to the police band on my CB radio. Once I dialed 911 and dedicated a crime to my girlfriend.
 
I responded to my girlfriend's marriage proposal by saying, "You're What?!"
 
I still miss my ex-girlfriend... but my aim is improving.
 
I think my girlfriend has had sixty-one boyfriends before me. She calls me her sixty second lover.
 
I'd like to sing you a song now about my old girlfriend. It's called "They'll Find Her When the Leaves Blow Away 'Cause I'm Not Raking 'Til Spring."
 
Laugh and the world laughs with you. Cry and you cry with your girlfriends.
 
My Chinese girlfriend said "You shit in bed"... so I did.
 
My girlfriend always laughs during sex -- no matter what she's reading.
 
My girlfriend and I went on a picnic. I don't know how she did it, but she got poison ivy on the brain. When it itched, the only way she could scratch it was to think about sandpaper.
 
My girlfriend asked me how long I was going to be gone on this tour. I said the whole time.
 
My girlfriend asked me, "Do You believe in love at first sight"? I said, "At the first sight of what"?
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